We deeply feel Love when we part. We miss badly our loved ones when we travel or go far away for work or studies. For me it all starts from Love in the Family or from Love as a Gift of being Present. Love that brings Peace and Freedom to be yourself and enjoy [accept] another person in the way he or she is. Love is hard and easy at the same time. Hard because it includes Patience and Obedience. Easy because it includes Joy and Happiness. Sometimes to be present is the hardest thing in this busy world. To be present means to reschedule the plans or even to cancel some events and meetings in the sake of our loved one(s). To be present means to spend time together, to have a cup of tea or a glass of water, to make a breakfast or to read a book silently in the presence of our loved one(s). To be present means to come home straight from work just to be home before your loved one(s) come, so they will feel loved and cared for, they will know that there is somebody home waiting on them, making dinner and cleaning the house. To be present means to hug each other when you come home, or meet outside, or leave the house. To be present means to say “Good morning” and “Good night”. To be present means to discover the personality of your loved one(s). To be present is to Feel home with people you love. To be present means to invest into relationship [with your loved one(s) who is maybe having a hard time in life] simply by listening [if he/she wants to talk] or keeping silence [when he/she doesn’t feel like talking at all]. To be present is to watch a movie, go for a long walk, do something new together. It doesn’t have to be expensive, because our Time is the most expensive gift we can offer to people we love. Time together is Precious, because it nurtures us as human beings, it makes us closer to each other, it gives us confidence, it gives us hope for the future.
When we feel broken and empty we should learn how to Love simply by practising a Gift of Being Present. And when we must leave because of work or studies, it does break our hearts. But it doesn’t mean we cann’t practise a Gift of Being Present from the distance. We can send a card or gift, we can call, we can make plans to see each other sometime soon [even though if it’s in a few months], we can encourage and pray for each other and to hope.
It’s been amazing summer weeks with my Family, especially with my brothers. But summer is over and it’s time to go back to University and Work travels. While our hearts ache we do have Hope, because Love is a wonderful Gift, that is worth to feel sadness while we are apart, because in the end – Love is the only thing that matters in our Life.
One night 15 years ago I was making a wish to have my teeth beautiful and straight. I thought: Oh, it would be great to wake up in the morning, look at the mirror and see there a radiant smile with my straight teeth. Next morning I woke up and realized that my wish didn’t come true. It made me really sad. Later on my dad afforded to get dental braces for me and my sister. It was even more expensive than it is today. It was rare to wear braces in our small city at that time, so some people were saying that my dad doesn’t know how else to please daughters that’s why he decided to implant diamonds in our teeth 🙂 During the very first days of wearing braces I was so thankful to God for not fulfilling my dream – to straigten my teeth in one night. The pain was severe. I couldn’t eat much. Every bite of a fresh bread during the first days seemed like a stone. This week for some reason I got braces again. It hurts the same way. But I am glad it won’t take me that long as before to wear them.
It makes me think about many things in my “still 30” life right now. I trust God to do everything in my life in a perfect time, in a time that is by His will. But sometimes I have wishes like this wish of having straight teeth in the morning. Those wishes of having restored relationships with loved ones, being fluent in French, getting to the next stage on the relationship with a guy I like, getting a better position at work, being able to change the world and so on. But if we agreed to wear braces that means we agreed to have pain, feel uncomfortable, be vulnerable and wait for the result. It’s obvious when it’s about dental braces. But when it comes to invisible braces of our life it drives us crazy. We become so impatient. We don’t want to be vulnerable. We want things to be changed right here and right now.
Sometimes we get too blind and we want God to answer our prayers (=wishes) immediately and only in the way that we think is best. But when I look back on my life, I am grateful to Jesus Christ for keeping track on time in my life. I am grateful to Jesus Christ for not answering my prayers, that were my wishes without understanding, the wishes that could hurt me or kill me instead of being a good thing for me. (As I wear braces right now and feel lots of pain, I feel terrified of imagining the pain of straigtening the teeth in one night!). I am grateful to Jesus Christ for different seasons (with and without braces) in every area of my life. In my physical life of dealing with health issues, in my emotional journey with my family and friends, in my personal growing and in my spiritual walk with Him. Those different seasons bring me closer to Jesus Christ and teach me to take time to learn, to accept, to hope, to love and to wait on His timing that is always Best!
Expectations create illusions, and illusions cause hopelessness. Hopelessness takes off joy, and days without joy take off the last hope. We read articles and books, watch movies and look for stories in Instagram and Pinterest for beautiful life, perfect relationships and fantastic future with our loved ones. One day we start believing that this perfect world with perfect people exists in this broken Universe and the other day we become thinking that all that we have in our own life isn’t right, isn’t good enough. And then it’s too late, because at that exact moment we are done: we loose the last hope. Then we live grey days without hope, without joy, without love. We live grey days without gratefulness to God (and people around) for all that we have in this moment, in this current situation, in this particular place of living.
Nowadays it’s so easy to start to expect something from another person because of our imagination of life, our views on relationships. It’s so easy to get angry with a person because of those unrealistic expectations, mostly always unknown & unspoken to the other person. But it’s so hard in this comtemporary world to stop. To stop to expect. To stop to create illusions about how others should behave towards us and others. To stop messing up with our loved ones. It’s so hard to listen to a person. To recognise & accept different way of love and care. To wait in silence until our loved ones will change their minds and hearts towards us…
To hope again we need to start from the begining: to give up unrealistic expectations from people and life. Unrealistic expectations about our own life. To practise hope in small things during the day. It’s hard. But as my friend U. says: “Wait. Waiting could be good”. I wait even though I don’t know what for. I try to not transform my wishes into expectations how others should behave towards me. I try to hope even though I feel so hopeless about everything in my life right now. And I try to be grateful to God and people around for the things I already have. I wait and this is my small step to feel again Hope, “lots of hope” as my friend says.
photo: Kyiv, river Dnipro, June 2018